Bulletin Articles
What Kind of Critic are You?
To be critical is to evaluate or analyze something (music, art, food, etc.). There is nothing wrong with that in itself because it need not always involve complaining and disputing. We desire to foster critical thinking, which means we learn to think things out, analyze arguments, and draw reasonable conclusions. Not all criticism is helpful, however. We are often critics of others, and sometimes this takes destructive turns. Right or wrong, good or bad, people will criticize. We all do it to one degree or another. There are good and bad ways to go about this. We can learn to value constructive criticism that will help us improve the way we talk, teach, and interact with one another. Not all critics or criticism are the same. Not all share the same credibility or show the same levels of concern. Think about it on a personal level. For example:
There are critics who loathe us to begin with and they will jump on anything that will make us sound or look bad (e.g., Paul had his critics such as in Phil 1:16-17). They want to spread the news about our problems. They have no desire to help us, but only to take us down and see us fail, and they will be as public as possible. What they ought to understand is that if they have already taken this posture, then their criticisms of particulars are not going to be given much credibility, even if a particular criticism is appropriate. They want to stir the pot and cause difficulty, and that generally becomes obvious to those who are paying attention.
“Hatred stirs up conflicts, but love covers all offenses” (Prov 10:13).
There are also critics who don’t know us much at all, but they are happy to chime in with their opinions anyway. They don’t say they hate us, but they don’t particularly like us either because they just don’t know who we are and what you stand for. Nor do they care to find out. They might make assumptions about us without trying to get to know us personally. They would say they aren’t really trying to hurt, but neither are they actually interested in helping. Their criticisms will only be marginally effective because they don’t have anything to gain or lose. Their credibility is nullified by their general apathy toward us. If they really cared, they’d come to us first.
“A fool does not delight in understanding, but only wants to show off his opinions.” (Prov 18:2)
Then there are the critics who are also our friends. These are brothers and sisters who care about us. They want to see us succeed and have no desire to spread something that is going to hurt us. Their criticism comes from a heart of love and desire to help. These will usually come to us privately because they want to show genuine, personal concern. They have credibility with us because they know us and they care about us. We need not second-guess their friendship. These are the ones we are eager to listen to and interact with. We welcome their critiques because we know they can help us improve what we are doing.
“The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.” (Prov 27:6)
When we feel we must engage in some form of criticism, particularly of others, then what kind of critics are we? The hateful ones, the apathetic ones, or the loving ones? Am I the hater, the non-caring, or the friend? It matters because Christians ought to care about how we come across and what we are trying to accomplish.
“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear” (Eph 4:29). Speaking the truth in love, with grace, and for edification is what the Lord calls for. “Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person” (Col 4:6). “Words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious, while the lips of a fool consume him” (Eccl 10:12).
On the receiving end, we should try to listen for fair criticisms regardless of the source. Even if I know someone does not like me, that person might have something to say that I can take and use to make some improvements. If I know someone is apathetic about helping, I might still find that voice useful to improve how I do something. And I want to hear from the one I consider my friend. That one will know me best and will help me because “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another” (Prov 27:17).
Let us be careful about the kind of critics we are and let us also seek to take criticism in a way that can help us grow and improve how we act and speak. In this way, we can build one another up in the faith with love and grace.
