Bulletin Articles
Communicating in Love
How should Christians communicate the truth in a world that is not always very nice to us and what we stand for? This can be a challenge, but we do need to remember that God’s people have a higher standard than the world. Therefore, we seek to follow the Lord’s wisdom: “keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation” (1 Pet 2:12). Being lights in a dark world is not easy, but it is what the Lord calls on us to do (Matt 5:14-16; Phil 2:14-16). This needs to hold true in the way we communicate both to the world and one another.
Somewhere along the line, it seems our culture has been convinced that insulting people is the way to win others to their way of thinking. Harsh words that disparage intelligence coupled with character-destroying insinuations have become embedded in the arguments and disagreements of our era. This is the way of the world, a path lacking grace and mercy, and which can only lead to further division and hatred. This should not surprise us, for James wrote about the wisdom of the world in this way:
“Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing” (Jas 3:13-16).
Disorder, chaos, selfishness, and jealousy mark a world devoid of a desire for God. Attitudes that come from a mind set on the flesh will be seen through the way people communicate. Christians instead must seek the fruit of the Spirit, which will also be evident in how they communicate.
In leading up to the point that we need to take on the mind of Christ, the apostle Paul exhorted, “Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose” (Phil 2:1-2). Notice the terms: encouragement, consolation, love, fellowship, affection, compassion, joy, united. These are produced by the Spirit. How could this be accomplished? The answer is given: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (vv. 3-4). This is the wisdom of God, again as James put it:
“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace” (Jas 3:17-18).
We are aiming for the mind or attitude of Jesus (Phil 2:5), which was demonstrated by His self-emptying act of dying for us on the cross. As John says, “We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren” (1 John 3:16). For the child of God, we are to speak with grace (Col 4:6), love (Eph 4:15), and kindness devoid of bitterness (Eph 4:31-32). We don’t revile or insult in return when such is hurled at us (1 Pet 2:21-23). Jesus is our example in this as He uttered no threats and no insults at those who were unjustly pursuing Him to His death.
We are aware that there were times Jesus spoke more harshly, calling out hypocrites for what they were (Matt 23). Bear in mind that Jesus knew hearts in ways we do not, and we must be careful not to overstep our boundaries. He can judge what we are not capable of judging. We should not try to justify harsh language that is graceless and insulting. We can be direct and straightforward and still be respectful. We can approach people in love, speak the truth, be forthright, and still show that we have their best interests at heart.
Life is full of conversation, discussion, and efforts to teach and learn. If we have arguments to make, we need to make them without rancor and insult. Whether we are talking with unbelievers or fellow saints, we gain nothing by worldly rhetoric that requires us to know the hearts of those with whom we have our discussions. Let the truth be spoken so it can do what the Lord intends for it to do, and let us avoid speaking in a manner that hurts the cause of that truth.
