Bulletin Articles
Words Hurt, Words Heal
“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Prov 12:18).
Words can hurt. They can be like sword thrusts, cutting deeply and hurting people in ways that we may not even consider. Because “what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart” (Matt 15:18), we need to be aware that our hearts are on display through what we say and do. Do you recall that old adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”? While it might be intended to promote backbone against insults and harmful words, the truth is that words can and do hurt, especially when they come from those who are family or supposed to be closer to us. We expect the words of an enemy to be insulting; the discouraging words of a friend are another matter. Words communicate what we think, and sometimes to know what someone thinks about us can be like sword thrusts. They jab, they cut, and they make us bleed. Words matter.
This is why we need to take such great care in what we say, how we say it, and to whom we say it. We must stop and consider the effect we might have on a brother or sister for whom Christ died. What we might think is no big deal can turn out to be damaging to another, and if we are to be about the business of caring for others, then this needs to matter to us. The wisdom of James needs to be heard continually (James 3:1-12). “And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so” (vv. 6-10).
“These things ought not to be so” should ring loudly in our ears. How we speak about others matters to God because all are made in God’s image. To gossip, judgmentally criticize, and speak harsh words will serve to discourage, hurt, and weigh people down. These things ought not to be so. Scripture is clear on the use of the tongue. To speak disparagingly of others, especially our own brethren, is a violation of the royal law (James 2:8), and “Love does no wrong to a neighbor” (Rom 13:10).
On the other hand, the words of the wise bring healing. As words have power to hurt, they also have power to encourage and heal. “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body” (Prov 16:24). Paul indicated the importance of using our words to build up rather than tear down one another: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Eph 4:29). This fits under the umbrella of how we treat one another generally. “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph 4:31-32). That last statement should hit home with us. If we have spoken ill of another, harmed another by word or action, then we need to seek forgiveness. The beauty of forgiveness of and from others is that it mirrors what God has done for us. Even the words, “please forgive me,” are powerful reminders that God has forgiven and that we are seeking reconciliation and unity in Him. These are healing words.
Gracious speech comes from a heart trained by our Lord. “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Col 4:6). We need to be aware of this whether in person, online in social media interactions, or when speaking of one another when they are not present (see Eccl 10:20). We know Barnabas as the son of encouragement (Acts 4:36), and he serves as a solid example of what we all should want to become. None of this means we do not deal with sin or speak forthrightly, but it does mean that we are ever aware of the need to build up by what we say and do. People need to hear that they are loved. We need encouragement and grace, and we need to speak in ways that show we are aware of the needs of others.
Above all, let our words be a reflection of the words of our Lord, by which our ultimate spiritual healing comes as we seek eternal life through Him (cf. John 6:68).
